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I'm sorry, I try to keep from confusing people, but this is a complicated situation.
This has been a long time coming, and I started noticing feelings changing last March. The timing was a huge coincidence (I'll explain that in a minute...). Dave and I agree that while we still love each other, we're not IN love with each other anymore. We've called off the engagement and are just friends now. This is where some people will get confused: We're still living together, and plan to live together, eventually having Justin move in with us, and this plan isn't changing. We're still financially tied to each other, and like I said, we still care for one another, but it's not fair to either one of us to stay together exclusively just because we feel we owe it to each other. Dave has never been his own person. Since his first relationship, he's just went from one into another, fearing being alone, confusing company with commitment. I'm the same way, but I do know more than him what I want in life. Dave, for the first time in his life, doesn't want to be tied down. If you know him you know this sounds crazy. He needs to find out what he really wants and because we're still close, he'll never be alone. I think I'm ok with all this because I know I'm not being replaced and I didn't do anything to bring this about for him. It's been in the back of his head for years now, even before he knew me. One thing he keeps repeating is he doesn't want to lose me, nor I him, and we'll always have each other.
Now... I don't want to embarrass Justin (and if any of this really does bother you, please tell me and I'll edit this) but it's kinda obvious that since about... late June/ early July... he and I have been pretty close. I need to get this out... Early last year, I started noticing Justin more. Little things here and there. I even know the exact moment I realized that I liked him. Well, obviously I had to ignore these feelings for MANY reasons. I kept telling myself that I was just going through a phase. Through the summer trying to fix him up with Talitha, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't sit there and watch someone like Justin get rejected or tossed around or played with because he really does deserve the world. I decided that I would have to make sure that he wasn't hurt anymore. I take to the over protective friend role VERY well, especially when it comes to people I care about, and realizing slowly that I was falling for him, this was even easier. Around the time of Otakon, I knew that the attraction wasn't one sided and a couple of you noticed this there as well (Chayne... Paul...). The months rolled on, and we got closer and closer, Dave knowing. I want to make that clear, I wasn't cheating on Dave. Those of you closest to me know details, and I don't feel like going into THAT but yeah, the past couple months have been the greatest. Here I arrive back to the present... and after getting all this out, I bet you're all like, "Are you with Justin?"... Well... I love Justin. Honestly, it feels like I'm with him, and right now, that makes me happy. I don't want to scare him away, so we're taking things as they come. If you see us in public, you'd think we were boyfriend and girlfriend, and even more in private. I guess the best way to put it is we're dating, but at the same time, he's got a lot in his own life to worry about, he doesn't need to worry about keeping a girlfriend happy, I feel. Along that vein as well, if he does decide that he doesn't want me dating other guys, and he does indeed want to be exclusive, I'm not going to smother him. Things will stay as they've been and I think that's a win win win... and I'm kinda surprised I'm going to post this...
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darkanticrista's journal
depressed
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annoyed
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pissed off
These two are too close in the awesome %
Simple, but pretty. 
indescribable
accomplished
drained
chipper
bouncy
sick
